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9.7.05 [ Relax ] 0 comments

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Not twenty minutes ago, a girl had offered to be my wife. Oh dear.

Ladies, relax. I know that there is some preconception of a magical age for women. I have heard it a thousand times before: "I plan to be married by 25 and have three childeren," or some other such nonsense which supposes some similar constraints. This is the worst thing that one could think to oneself.

Firstly, if I were to choose a spouse that would be a homemaker and a mother to my childeren, then there are additional factors rather than convenience and will-to-subservience. At this point, there still exists the possibility that a child of mine may be female; such a child's mother must be a role-model of female empowerment. That is, a woman whose ambition is dependence and child-rearing is automatically exempted from my selection since such an attitude is detrimental to child-rearing.

Let me acknowledge that effectively raising childeren is something to be respected and that any man or woman who sacrifices his or her career to the benefit of their offspring holds a high place in my esteem. However, I find it unlikely that a person who chooses making babies over higher education or travel or independent study of some sort will have the necessary experiences to be an effective parent. If you don't agree with me, then please find someone else to leach off of.

When I choose a spouse, she must be my peer. If she is docile and submissive, then I will be lulled into believing I am superior. If I thik I am superior, then I will probably be intolerant, bored, lonely. These are the ingredients for infidelity, something I would prefer to avoid. Only a woman with a secure sense of self, honed through independent choices, could be a suitable mate.

Conversly, I am not nearly ready to be a father; there are so many things to yet learn and experience before I could make a slight claim of having knowledge to pass on. Let us bannish this notion of a "magical age".

As you approach that magical number (25, 30, 40, 70), consider making an investment in yourself instead. Let us turn, "OMG! I'm 27 and don't have kids: I need to marry, NOW!" into, "OMG! I'm 27 and don't have kids: I need to make a personal investment so as to become a more competitve spouse, NOW!". Who knows, perhaps you'll even find some sort of personal enlightenment along the way.

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