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"The problem [...] is that people were sick and hungry not because of global shortages but because of wars and dictators." Peter Pringle, Food Inc.
"For it is the soldier's disposition to offer an obstinate resistance when surrounded, to fight hard when he cannot help himself, and to obey promptly when he has fallen into danger." --Sun Tsu
If this Discourse appear too long to be read at once, it may be divided into six Parts: and, in the first, will be found various considerations touching the Sciences; in the second, the principal rules of the Method which the Author has discovered, in the third, certain of the rules of Morals which he has deduced from this Method; in the fourth, the reasonings by which he establishes the existence of God and of the Human Soul, which are the foundations of his Metaphysic; in the fifth, the order of the Physical questions which he has investigated, and, in particular, the explication of the motion of the heart and of some other difficulties pertaining to

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25.7.05 [ ] 3 comments

3 Comments:

so. whom do you ask?


Someone I respect deeply once asserted that if you don't want to do something and you do it anyway, you do so only out of fear. At the time, I had nothing to say. Afterwards, on thinking it over, I wondered how he could totally dismiss guilt and responsibility the way he did.
Or perhaps guilt is something that plagues only the fearful.
Apparently the rest march on, serene in the belief that they are right.

Conflicts (about myself and my future) always bring out the mumbler in me. I generally lose in shouting matches.


Oh, I most certainly fear. Not God, though. I fear not making the most of my circumstance. There are so many who struggle to provide the kinds of oppertunity that I take for granted to their childeren. I must make my father's sacrifices worthwile.


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My conception is malformed and incomplete. My understanding of the methods and rules is a matter of conjecture. Further, my faith is a dim bulb shrouded by cynicism. Yet, I want to believe in magic. I need to know that there is something more powerful than myself; for, I am weak. My hands are the same as all others I have seen.

I ask for the will to pursue higher ambitions. I ask for the strength and courage to protect and procure the values of my ancestors. I ask for a wider lens, so that I may no longer pass judgment too quickly and no longer meet conflict with vanity.

I have much to learn. I ask for the strength to bear humility.

Conflict approaches. One must be willing to fight or to adapt.

I'm not even sure what I will be fighting for. I work in an environment of raw sexuality. Everyone's being seems devoted to the worship of pleasure. Is that enough? Would I be willing to fight for my lifestyle and the lifestyles of those in my immediate sphere?

I know, though, that there is more going on than the chasing of good times. Barely. There is some community, but no "good work" has been done. No outreach has been made save for providing rich people's children with a sense of belonging.

I have met good people here and I have established some relationships which may even last a lifetime. I have learned how to tell a story, how to dance, how to listen, how to talk about sports. However, I am unfulfilled. My influence is barely positive. My skills are unemployed. My effect on the world is grossly inefficient. My time here must soon come to an end or I shall die from the inside out.

So, I ask for the will to pursue higher ambitions and the humility to make it worthwhile. May my attachments not be so strong as to prevent movement, yet may they not be so weak as to forget the important trivialities--the road ahead is darker.

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