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29.3.05 [ ] 0 comments

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Life can feel pretty complicated sometimes--especially when the most basic needs, such as food and shelter and such, are looked after. Yes, in the 'civilized' world every encounter is some sort of political game. I grow weary of it sometimes, largely because of my fumbling and awkward approach to almost anything.

People in my classes are so closed, always putting on a game face--which is absolutely ridiculous.

There's this one guy in my econometrics class who wears a suit to school, he's got his iPod hanging around his neck, shiny black dress shoes, and he's always buddying with the prof after class. I try. I seriously do.

"Hey, Ryan! Wussappining? That Jetsgo fiasco did the rest of the airline industry pretty well, eh?"

"Uh."

"Yeah, well .. um, whadjya think of that last assignment? Pretty rough, eh?"

"Mm."

"I was havin' some issues with question three: my Breusch-Godfrey stat was two-six after I adjusted the model for seasonality ... whadjou get?"

"Look man, all it takes is a little practice, and you will get it: keep trying, champ."


The whole problem with this encounter is that it happens regularly in these courses. Firstly, people should be less worried about where they are in the class's distribution. In fact, we modeled class competitiveness in 384; our conclusions were that everyone benefits with on-topic openness (it's actually a double-bind solution, which is happening here, I suppose). Secondly, I have found that many people (especially the ones that wear suits to class, but maybe I'm being discriminatory here) like to put forward an image of being on successful and intelligent without a care for engaging in the activities that make these things possible.

The professor for this course once told me, "Mike, you're the best of the worst." And sadly, it's true. In context with what I have been doing for the past four years, taking this course is akin to taking Math 23 after having squeezed honours out of Math 30, 31, 35. I am at the top of the class (which is merely a function of having already taken more advanced courses than this one). Yet, most of my peers insist on playing these 'face-games'. I don't know what they are trying to prove, or who they're trying to impress, or where they grab such 'bizarre sense[s] of entitlement', but I do know that it is frustrating. Incredibly so.

And I hurt my head thinking about this stuff--trivial as it may be. Thankfully, there is abundant work to lose oneself in. Or the interweb; or whatever.

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